Please Tell Me How to Remember Love - Chapter 3 Part 5
Chapter 3 Part 5
“Huh? Takayama isn’t here?”
“After she told me to take care of you, she left.”
“I see… Did she say anything else?”
“Yes. Though, it’s just small talk between us girls.”
“So you don’t want to tell me anything.”
“There’s nothing much to tell anyway.”
After Takayama left the park, Aoi started to exchange words with Takayuki. Her inner feelings were messy, but she tried not to show it in her expression. To divert Takayuki’s attention from Takayama, she brought up her findings about Haruka’s current state.
“I see. Haruka-senpai retains her memories, huh? Well, if that’s the case, we should try to find something common between the two of you, Miyama. Do you have any ideas?”
“I have no idea, I’m afraid.”
Finishing her words, Aoi shrugged her shoulders. A sigh escaped Takayuki’s mouth.
“Oh well… Seriously, that witch… At least give me a hint or two…”
Both of them were sitting at a bench. They were so close to each other that they could hear each other’s sighs whether they liked it or not. Not realizing this, they both continued to talk.
“Thank you for the information, Miyama. I really wish I could meet her in person instead, but it’ll be too awkward…”
“…Satou-kun, um, about Haru-kun’s confession…”
“Yeah, I want to discuss it with you.”
With a calm smile, Takayuki said,
“I need your help. I want to know a way where I could reject her without hurting her, if possible.”
“…Huh?”
Hearing those absurd words coming out of his mouth made Aoi’s brain freeze. She forced her brain to come up with something. ‘What’s the point of us being partners if I can’t even offer a word of help to him?’ Thought Aoi.
“But, can I ask you something first? Why do you want to reject her confession? Is there a problem?”
Her awkward question was answered with a light smile from Takayuki.
“Well, there isn’t any problem. It’s just, I don’t think I have what it takes to be in a serious relationship with someone. Honestly, it’s too heavy for me. Maybe, all those counseling affected my mental state, it made me afraid of being heart broken, you see? Well, I can afford a more casual relationship, though.”
“…Trying to demean yourself again, huh, Satou-kun? What is it you’re trying to hide this time?”
“I’m not trying to—”
“Are you taking me for a fool?”
Aoi’s sharp glare pierced through Takayuki’s deception.
“Can you not try to lie to me with random bulls like this, Satou-kun? I know that I haven’t known you as long as Takayama-san did, but during this short time period, I know that you’re more serious about this matter than anyone else I know of. You’re the kind of person that will respect someone else’s love and accept it properly.”
She continued,
“Satou-kun, I know that you call the people who are dear to you by their first names. You did that to both Takayama-san and Haru-kun. I know that you trust them quite a lot. That’s why I’d understand if you were to tell me that you don’t want to be lovers with Haru-kun, at least I know that you still want to cherish her as a friend.”
“…That’s…”
Seeing Takayuki’s reluctance convinced Aoi that there was something else going on in the matter.
“You don’t want to say it? You could just say that she isn’t attractive enough for you and be done with it, yet you tried to demean yourself instead. Actually, that’s probably your true intention, isn’t it?”
“…”
“Not answering now? That means you’re doing this because of someone. Who is it?”
Takayuki’s expression turned ugly, but he still kept his mouth shut. No, he actually tried to say something, but before anything managed to come out of his mouth, he shut it tightly.
“Why can’t you just answer me? It isn’t like I’ll refuse your reasoning if you were to tell me. I just want to be convinced. I know that this isn’t any of my business, but I’m your partner, Satou-kun. I just want to help you properly.”
Aoi’s voice trembled as she said that. With that, Takayuki finally opened his mouth.
“I’ve never had romantic feelings for anyone ever since I was born.”
He leaned on the bench. While gazing at the sky, he started to talk about himself
“I have feelings, of course. I have things that I like and hate. I can be h*rny. I understand the concept of romance, that’s why I’m able to help others with their love life to begin with. It’s just when it comes to myself, I can’t feel anything like that. No pleasure nor pain that came with love. No nothing.”
His words were like a confession that was directed toward the sky.
“That’s why I can’t return her feelings. I don’t even know how to love someone to begin with.”
With a wry smile, Takayuki declared his flaws.
“My feelings haven’t changed even once. Back when the girl that I trusted the most confessed her love to me, I couldn’t feel anything toward her. The same thing is happening right now, I can’t feel anything after hearing that confession. Well, actually, I feel happy because there are actually people who fell for someone like me, it’s just that I can’t feel any romantic attraction to them.”
Takayuki then turned his gaze toward Aoi.
“Even my ability confirmed that I haven’t fallen for anyone. I don’t think it’s right for me to accept her confession. I can’t give Haruka-senpai the love that she deserves.”
That was the moment when Aoi finally understood Takayama’s words. She just didn’t want anyone to go through the same pain and regret that she once suffered. But at the same time, she wanted to entrust Takayuki to someone that he could love. Even after all those things that happened to her, that girl still cared so much about him.
“You should understand my feelings too, Miyama. What I’m feeling is the same way as your feelings toward myself. Like, but not love. We can be friends, but there’s no way that we can be lovers. That’s why I can’t accept Haruka-senpai’s feelings. I really have no choice but to reject her.”
Until the end of his words, he didn’t drop his wry smile. Those words served as a way for Takayuki to draw the line between him and Aoi. Their relationship wouldn’t get any further than this.
“But, even so, you still want to fall in love, don’t you?”
Of course, Aoi wouldn’t accept it just like that. Once again, she tried to cross through the line that Takayuki drew.
“Isn’t that why you’ve been filling your bookshelves with romance novels? Researching about love to the point of obsession? I get it now. The reason why you started your love counseling gig is to learn more about love. Am I wrong?”
“That’s…”
She managed to connect the dots, even though the method she used was a bit crude. The conclusion she came to might be wrong, but Aoi didn’t care. The girl didn’t want her hero’s hard work to go unrewarded, she wanted him to be able to fulfill his wishes.
“Satou-kun, Haru-kun is serious about you. She is deeply in love with you. So, please, give her a serious response. Don’t try to shrug her off with a white lie. You don’t need to give her a favorable response, just answer her feelings honestly.”
“…Does it matter, though? Whether I lie to her or not, the fact that her love is unrequited won’t change.”
“It does matter. If you tell her that white lie you mentioned before, Haru-kun won’t give up on you easily. She’ll keep chasing you until you fall in love with her, that’s the kind of person she is.”
“Ugh, I guess there isn’t an easy way out for me.”
To Takayuki who let out a bitter smile, Aoi tried to hammer her point in.
“Well, if you go that route, there’s a possibility that she’ll find out about your real circumstances and back down on her own. But, do you really want that kind of conclusion? You really want to end her love for you with a white lie? Think about her for a second, you’ll just hurt her even more. That’s why, give her a proper answer, Satou Takayuki.”
Those words hit a sore spot for Takayuki. Now that Aoi used Haruka’s happiness as an excuse, he couldn’t proceed with his original plan anymore.
“…Fine, fine. To go this far, seriously, you… Tomorrow, after school, call her to the back of the school building. I’ll properly tell her everything then. I’ll figure the rest out on my own.”
“Good!”
Both of them nodded to each other, one in resignation, one in satisfaction.
The matter of Aoi’s own feelings were still unresolved, but she decided to shove it to the depths of her heart.
“Good luck for tomorrow then, Satou-kun!”
Giving the last push to his back, she decided to part from him so that she could end things on a good note. Hide her feelings behind her dashing looks and walk away before anything bad could happen.
“…”
When she was out of Takayuki’s sight, her smile disappeared. With a straight face, she continued walking as she emptied her thoughts.
Her legs brought her to her bad friend’s room.
“…Yuzu.”
“What?”
“Comfort me.”
“Why?”
“…Never mind. Sorry.”
“Okay.”
However, when she tried to complain to her bad friend like usual, Aoi found herself hesitating. Normally, she’d just shove her face into Yuzu’s belly without asking for the latter’s permission, but right now she was just fiddling with her phone in the corner of the room. The movements that her fingers made were exaggerated though. It was clear that she desperately tried to distract herself from all her bad feelings.
“…Haah… Aoi, come here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, just come here.”
“…Mm.”
Yuzu beckoned Aoi to use her lap as a pillow. Then she patted the latter’s head, though her patting wasn’t something that could be described as gentle.
“Hehe, you’re bad at this as usual, Yuzu. You need to be more gentle. Seriously, you’re ruining my hair.”
“If you don’t like it, I’ll stop.”
“I like it, though.”
“…There’s this new crepe shop. Wanna go there tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
Aoi sunk her head deeper into Yuzu’s lap as she closed her eyes. She could act like her usual self again tomorrow. For now, she just wanted to be spoiled by her friend.
* * *
Even if one isn’t feeling well, one still has to smile beautifully.
Miyama Aoi wouldn’t show her weakness to just anyone. There was a possibility that it would hurt someone who cared about her. That was why even when she felt a moment of weakness, she’d always try to put on a smile.
The next morning, she put even more effort to doll herself up, interacting more with her surroundings and being 30% more energetic than usual. Her gait was lighter than usual, her smile was brighter than usual and she was more empathetic than usual. She believed that with this much effort she put, the day would pass by quicker than usual and she would be able to ignore the pain that was eating her heart out. Or so she thought.
“Aoi, you’ve been acting strange today. Did something happen?”
After school. Her best friend, Tomoe, managed to notice something. With a concerned look, she asked Aoi that question.
“…You noticed? As expected of Tomoe. I didn’t get much sleep last night, so I feel kinda sick. I planned to go home early—”
“Don’t lie. If you really feel that way, you’d leave the school earlier or not come to school at all. But you didn’t do either of those. You seem to be enduring something. Did something happen between you and Satou? I noticed you’ve been trying to avoid him.”
“…You noticed that?”
“Of course. We’re best friends!”
“I’m no match for you, seriously.” Aoi muttered in a small voice. Then she slowly removed her mask.
“Can I vent to you a little, Tomoe?”
Aoi’s weak smile made her look like she could collapse at any moment.
“Of course, you don’t need to hold back!”
“Sorry for troubling you. And for showing you this pathetic side of mine…”
“Don’t worry, I did that to you just the other day, so we’re even!”
With unsteady steps, Aoi moved to an empty classroom with Tomoe. She wasn’t bold or stupid enough to discuss this in her own classroom.
“So, what’s wrong?”
“You see…”
The sun shone through the curtain of the empty classroom. Under the rather dusty air, Aoi explained her situation to Tomoe. Of course, she left out the matter of Takayuki’s ability and Haruka’s stalker issue in her story and focused on the part that was important to her personally.
“In short, you don’t like the idea of someone else staying next to Satou?”
“…How did you come to that conclusion? The story is about me helping my relative solve her love affair…”
“Well, your face told me everything. You made the same face as back when you were in middle school. You know, the time when you were being headstrong and refused to listen to the teacher’s explanation? You made the same doubtful look.”
After Aoi finished her story, Tomoe looked at her in dismay.
“Look here, Aoi. Just because Amamiya-senpai confessed her love, doesn’t mean you have to hold yourself back. It’s fine to act like your usual self. Fight for his love against her fairly!”
“…Not that.”
“What?”
However, after hearing Tomoe’s words, Aoi’s expression didn’t brighten up. Instead, her sorrow intensified.
“…My feelings for him aren’t like that.”
Slowly, she put the feelings that had been bothering her into words.
“I don’t want to kiss him, hug him or having s*x with him. I don’t want to do the things that lovers normally do with him. I just want to hang out with him like friends. I want to be his partner, like a sidekick to a hero. I want to enjoy my youth together with him while doing stupid, random things. It’s a childish feeling, I know…”
It would be easier for Aoi if her feelings were love. The fact that this jealousy was something more childish than love was the thing that made it hard for her. Aoi admired Takayuki, but that admiration didn’t turn into love.
“That’s why I can’t just barge into their relationship. I’d rather get kicked by a horse than getting in the way of her love for such a selfish reason.”
After letting everything out, Aoi clutched her chest.
The last part was a reminder to herself that she shouldn’t get in the way of the two people who were serious about their love life.
Her smile when she gave the final push to Takayuki was just bravado, but she thought that was the least thing she could do as a decent person.
“You idiot!”
“Ouch!”
With all her might, Tomoe slapped Aoi’s back.
The impact was powerful enough to make Aoi bend her body. The pain made her unable to stop Tomoe’s next words.
“That isn’t it, Aoi! I know that things won’t turn out well for you! This is literally the same thing that I did with Nao! You’ll just end up hurting yourself more and more as time passes by!”
“*Cough* Oww… What’s wrong with you?!”
“Aoi! Miyama Aoi! You aren’t acting like yourself right now!”
Aoi tried to look up only to find Tomoe’s face right in front of hers. The latter then grabbed her shoulders with both hands. With tears, desperation and anger mixed in her eyes, Tomoe continued.
“Just tell them everything! Who cares if you’re being selfish, just do it! Your feelings don’t have to be pretty! It’s okay to be jealous! Even if people call you ugly or shameful, who cares!”
“There’s no way I could do that! I’m already a high school student! I’m not in the age where I can afford to be selfish!”
“Excuses! Is that mouth of yours can only say beautiful things when it comes to other people’s problems?! Why can’t you use it to solve your own problem?! I mean, Aoi…”
Snot filled her face. Grief decorated her pretty face. Pleading, Tomoe continued her words.
“Whenever you’re with him, you always look so happy… Don’t compare your feelings with someone else’s! Just because you don’t love him, doesn’t mean that you can just kill your feelings like that! It’s okay for you to be selfish! My love for you won’t fade, Aoi!”
“Tomoe…”
“That’s why, say it to him properly, Aoi. If he makes fun of you, I’ll scold him really hard! If you’re sad by the outcome, I’ll comfort you until you feel better! So, don’t kill your feelings like this, please…”
“Ugh…”
Tears accompanied Tomoe’s words. But those tears made Aoi’s heart beating wildly once again.
“Sorry… Also, thank you, Tomoe… I have to go now.”
“Yes… Go quickly!”
With a light pat on her back, Aoi ran. She paid no attention to her surroundings and ran. There was no hesitation in her steps.
* * *
‘How unsightly am I looking right now?’ Such thoughts appeared in Aoi’s mind as she moved her legs frantically.
‘Surely I look pathetic.’ Covered in sweat, it was normal that she’d think like that. Desperately, trying to not mind her surroundings, she moved her legs even faster. She was the one who gave Takayuki that final push and thanks to that she was reduced to her current state. It was ironic that someone had to do the same to her before she was able to make a move.
“Haah… Haah…”
Despite that, Aoi kept on running. She knew now that killing her emotion wouldn’t solve anything. It was fine if she was being shameful. That was why she desperately run, toward the place where Takayuki and Haruka met. The back of the school building.
“You’re late, Aoi. It’s all over already.”
What greeted her was Haruka’s soft smile.
She couldn’t muster up a reply to that smile as her rough breathing held her voice back. But, she still hit her chest anyway, trying to regulate her breathing. Sure, everything was over for Haruka, but not for her. Even if Takayuki actually accepted Haruka’s confession and Aoi’s own confession would end up being a nuisance in their relationship, Aoi had already decided that she’d tell them everything.
“He dumped me.”
“…Huh?”
Then Aoi heard those unexpected words. She looked up to see Haruka’s face.
“Seriously, he’s so mean to me. Can you believe him? He ranted about his ability and a lot of other nonsense, what’s wrong with him? Well, it’s convenient that you’re here since you’re related and all… Well, what are you waiting for, Kouhai-kun? Say it properly.”
“Ugh…”
To the stunned Aoi, Haruka sent her an unconcerned gaze. She turned her gaze to Takayuki, trying to force him to say something to Aoi. For a few seconds, Takayuki hesitated, but eventually he made a determined look before opening his mouth.
“Miyama… I have decided. I’ve explained everything to Haruka-senpai. My decision is genuine. I’ve thought this over and over again. I’ve also told everything to Haruka-senpai… You see, right now, I have someone that I cherished even more than her…”
Noticing the flow of the talk, Aoi’s face started to redden. ‘Oh, no…’ She didn’t actually think that, but her body movement said so.
“In any case, that’s the reason why I rejected her. It’s not fair to her if I were to accept her confession at that point…”
“Eh… U-Um… And that person you cherished is?”
“You, Miyama.”
“E-Eh…”
Aoi felt her breathing stopped. Before she managed to cook up an answer, Takayuki revealed another surprising confession.
“To be honest, I was happy when you said that you remembered me. Back when you called me a hero, it felt like all my efforts so far were worth it. Since then, I want to live up to your expectations. I want to reignite my old dream again. To be a hero… A hero that you could admire…”
With a serious expression, Takayuki’s eyes met Aoi’s. It was then when Aoi started to lose her footing. Even though his words were clumsy, it still managed to make her heart racing wildly.
“That’s why, Miyama…”
And so, Takayuki unearthed his true feelings toward Aoi..
“A-Ah… U-Um… B-But, d-didn’t Haru-kun just—”
“Be my partner. Every hero needs a sidekick, does he? I need you to be mine. I don’t think I can be a true hero without you by my side.”
His words sounded sincere. It was obvious that he gave it a lot of thoughts before saying those words.
It was just, Aoi thought that he was making a whole different kind of confession.
“…Eh? Partner?”
“Yeah. I mean, I did a lot of stupid things back in the day. You should be able to guide me to the right path if you are by my side.”
“Ah, I-I see… P-Partner, huh… O-Okay…”
“What’s with that response?! I went out my way to tell you all this! At least be excited about it!”
“Shut it, you idiot!”
“What did you say?!”
Flustered, Aoi immediately sat down on the spot. This outcome was exactly what she wanted, but that didn’t stop her from being embarrassed about it.
“Good, good. That’s my Kouhai-kun. Good job telling her your true feelings!”
“It’s thanks to your encouragement, Haruka-senpai… Even though I rejected you, you still went out of your way to give me the push I needed to do this…”
“Don’t mention it! You two have been helping me a lot, after all!”
Takayuki’s confession toward Aoi left a lot to be desired, but Aoi still felt happy about it.
“With this, I can do this without feeling guilty~”
“Huh?”
Her elation made Aoi let her guard down.
“Mwah.”
Before she realized it, Haruka had moved and stole Takayuki’s lips.
Time stopped. Takayuki opened his eyes wide at Haruka’s bold move. His body froze and he was too surprised to move. Meanwhile Aoi, who had already been in a flustered state to begin with, completely got her mind broken.
“Phew… Hehehe! You let your guard down, Kouhai-kun!”
After that kiss, Haruka’s face turned red. The tension made sweat run down through her neck, but she could still make a triumphant smile. She then pointed at Takayuki before declaring,
“You might have rejected my confession, but you haven’t rejected my love! Since you don’t love anyone else at the moment, I’ll do my best to make you fall in love with me! Just wait, I’ll become your number one! T-That’s why…”
Haruka took a deep breath before turning her gaze to Aoi.
“I don’t want to turn this love into a memory yet. Keep this in mind!”
With a provocative smile and an exaggerated laughter, Haruka fled the scene.
Wearing not the look of a rejected damsel, but a look of a war maiden, ready to set out to the battlefield.
“!”
Aoi racked her brain to try to say something, but she couldn’t in the end. The awkward silence was broken by Takayuki’s awestruck whisper after a while.
“I can’t not keep this in my mind even if I want to… That girl is surprisingly cunning…”
A word of praise. The prove that the love-eating monster had been done in by the maiden-in-love.
TL: Iyo
ED: Iyo