Ore wo Suki nano wa Omae dake ka yo - Chapter 5 Part 1

Chapter 5 – My Tragedy is Far from Over

 

 

When I got home and entered my room, I felt a great sense of relief.

 

Finally some me-time. It felt good to be alone.

 

But, I couldn’t just dawdle around like this. I had to think about a lot of things, including the new problem that appeared earlier…

 

Cosmos and Himawari… They should be fine for now…

 

The problem here was Sun-chan.

 

I couldn’t believe it… Of all people, why did it have to be Pansy, Sun-chan?…

 

First thing first, I’ll summarize the problem that I had to face in an easy-to-understand manner.

 

[Cosmos and Himawari (likes) Sun-chan (likes) Pansy (likes) Me]

 

See the content of that [ ]? Now you understand my dread.

 

The relationship chart didn’t even form a triangle or even a coherent shape. Instead, it formed a straight line.

 

Also, I haven’t told both Cosmos and Himawari about Sun-chan’s crush.

 

Rather than telling them about it, I’d rather someone erase all my memories about it.

 

However, it wasn’t like such a convenient way existed. I had to deal with it sooner or later, or else I wouldn’t be able to get the ‘ending’ I wanted.

 

Let’s think of all the possible endings. Also, while I was at it, I’ll try to think of a way or two to make those endings happen.

 

First ending: Cosmos or Himawari went out with Sun-chan.

 

This could be achieved with two ways. I’ll dub them as Plan A and Plan B.

 

Plan A was to make Sun-chan be conscious of those two as girls and move his heart.

 

Make him think that any one of them was a better option than Pansy.

 

But doing this was difficult. Sun-chan was stubborn, once he decided on something, he wouldn’t give it up easily.

 

Also, he was reckless. If we were to confront him head on, he’d just charge through.

 

Therefore, this plan couldn’t be used.

 

Plan B was to let Sun-chan confess to Pansy and let him get rejected by her. This plan was more likely to happen than the previous one. Sun-chan was prone to get in low spirits when something bad happened to him. This was the reason why Pansy’s words were able to move him to the point that he fell in love with her back then. In other words, if Cosmos and Himawari were to come in after he got rejected by Pansy, it’ll be easy for him to fall in love with either of the two.

 

But, this plan was a little difficult to achieve. Sun-chan needed to confess his feelings to Pansy first before any of that could happen.

 

From what I saw today, it was clear that he wouldn’t confess to her that easily.

 

Besides, they barely even talked.

 

Therefore, this plan too, couldn’t be used.

 

Second ending: Sun-chan went out with Pansy.

 

This one was impossible. No matter how much I tried to wrap my head around it, it was simply impossible.

 

I mean, this was Pansy we were talking about. There was no way that she’d agree to go out with him. Besides, she confessed to me, so it was clear that it was me that she wanted.

 

Also, she was really stubborn. She was the kind of girl who wouldn’t stop until she got what she wanted.

 

Moreover, she was sharp. I’d believe you if you were to tell me that she was an esper.

 

The moment I told her about Sun-chan would be the moment that she noticed everything and did the worst possible thing I could ever imagine.

 

Therefore, I couldn’t let this ending happen.

 

Third ending. Cosmos or Himawari went out with me.

 

No. This was the most unlikely of them all.

 

In the first place, the fundamental problems wouldn’t be solved if this ending were to happen.

 

Even if I went out with one of them, the other one would still remain and I’d still have to cooperate with them to get Sun-chan’s heart.

 

Rather than leaving me alone, they’d just say, ‘You’re already happy, so help me out! Put more effort into it!’

 

I didn’t want to deal with that for the rest of my life.

 

For my mental health’s sake, I wanted to finish everything in a month if possible.

 

Therefore, I couldn’t let this ending happen.

 

Fourth ending: Pansy and I went out.

 

I couldn’t let this ending happen.

 

I didn’t even need to think about that one… Huh? Who emailed me at this hour?

 

[Think about it a bit more.]

 

I told you, didn’t I?! Stop appearing in my me-time!

 

[Calm down, I didn’t hear anything except the fourth ending.]

 

As if I would calm down! Seriously, there was no safe place in this world!

“Haah…”

 

I turned off my phone.

 

Probably, I should just turn it off whenever I am at home.

 

Anyway, now that was out of the way, in the end, I ended up rejecting everything.

 

No solution could be made. I couldn’t solve this problem at all.

 

What should I do? What could I do?

 

I went over all the possible endings again.

 

One of them had the least risk and it was the safest one out of all of them.

 

…No way around it. I guess if I had to pick one in the end, I should just pick the safest one.

 

We were dealing with an esper anyway. She’d know what was up as soon as she saw my face either way.

 

Me telling her directly about this wouldn’t change anything in the end.

 

Therefore, I decided to go with the second ending.

 

*   *   *

 

No matter how much I hated to do something, if I’ve already decided on doing it, I’d do it… That was my life motto.

 

Next day, lunch. While immersing myself in my gloomy mood, I opened the door to the library and found that Pansy was already standing by the reading area.

 

“Hello, Joro-kun. I baked some cookies today. Let’s eat them together.”

 

When I sat down, she took out some cookies from a small drawstring bag and gave it to me. She looked like she was in a good mood.

 

I wonder why she put cookies in there, but whatever.

 

I didn’t have the time to worry about it.

 

“Pansy, I have something to say.”

 

My words seemed to annoy her as she shoved a piece of cookie into my face.

 

“The cookies come first.”

“Me first.”

“The cookies.”

 

She proceeded to shove it to my mouth and urged me to eat it.

 

Since arguing with her would be a waste of time, I snatched the thing from her hand and ate it myself before she could pull off any shenanigans on me.

 

“Does it taste good?”

“You. Go out with Sun-chan.”

I told her, ignoring her question.

 

Almost instantly, her eyes turned sharp.

 

“No.”

“Just go out with him.”

“So pushy.”

“Yes, so what?”

“How did it come to this?”
“Guess.”

“So, you asked Oga-kun about the girl that he likes and it turned out that it was me. After that, being the idiot you are, you racked your brain on what you should do next. The first option available to you was to make either Akino-senpai or Hinata-san to go out with Oga-kun. The second option was to make me go out with Oga-kun. The third option was to go out with either Akino-senpai or Hinata-san yourself. The fourth option was to go out with me. Out of those four, being the simpleton you are, you decided that since I’d find out about this whole thing anyway, you might as well involve me in your plan, so he decided to go with the second option. By the way, the fourth option made me feel happy.”

“How the hell did you find out that much?! …Well, you’re correct.”

“No, I won’t go out with him.”

 

She strongly rejected my request in a strong tone.

 

“C’mon, just try? Sun-chan is a good guy, I guarantee it!”

“I only want to go out with the person that I love. The person right in front of me right now…”

 

Her lips trembled as she said that. She brought her face closer to me.

 

A scent different from that of Cosmos’ and Himawari’s entered my nose. Her strong willed eyes managed to move my heart and made it skip a beat.

 

“…Rejected. Just go out with him. Things will work out between you two. Everything will be fine.”

 

That was a bad one. My words came out stronger than I expected because of my attempt to hide my embarrassment.

 

Eh, whatever. Couldn’t be bothered to fix a little thing like this. Let’s just continue on.

 

“No way.”

“C’mon.”

“Stop! I don’t want to do it!”

“Ugh…”

 

That was the strongest tone she had so far.

 

…Cr*p… As expected, this was too much, huh?…

 

“…How could you be this awful?”

“…Sorry.”

“Saying such horrible things, even though you know about my feelings for you…”

 

Her tone was monotone like usual.

 

But, it was this tone that was able to convey her feelings the best. I could feel my guilt grow larger after hearing it.

 

“Put yourself in my shoes. Someone that you like tells you to your face to go out with someone else. It hurts, you know?”

“…”

“You have nothing to say to that?”

 

What did she want me to say? For the record, I had no intention to go out with her.

 

Since that was the case, she might as well go out with Sun-chan instead.

 

“Fine, keep that mouth of yours closed. What a horrible person. Always so insensitive and selfish. You’ve never thought about my feelings even for a second, haven’t you?”

 

It was frustrating to admit, but she was right. I had never considered her feelings at all.

 

“I only want to have a nice chat with you while eating some cookies today, but now even that little wish will go unfulfilled.”

“…I guess so, huh?”

 

Those were the only words that I managed to squeeze out of my mouth. Pathetic.

 

“You don’t have to come here anymore.”

 

As soon as she said this, she tied the drawstring bag tightly.

 

Everything was my fault no matter how you looked at it.

 

“Goodbye, Joro-kun.  The worst kind of human being.”

 

While sending me a cold glance, she left the library with a more forceful gait.

 

As the door slammed shut behind me, I grabbed my head with both hands.

 

Ah… She got mad at me…

 

I expected that would happen, but I didn’t expect her to get this mad…

 

It seemed like I really underestimated the feelings that she held for me…

 

…Huh? My phone suddenly vibrated. …It was from Pansy…

 

[Come back again next Tuesday.]

 

So, was she angry at me or not?

 

Also, why Tuesday and not Monday?

 

[Things will get more interesting by that time… look forward to it…]

 

…What did you mean by those words?

 

Seriously, were you actually mad at me or not?

 

[I won’t tell you. Also I’m angry, isn’t it obvious?]

 

If you were angry, then, why would you ask me to come to meet you later?

 

[Alright… Sorry…]

 

That last one was from me. It was the first time I’ve ever sent her a text.

 

But she didn’t reply.

 

I expected that this would happen, but I couldn’t help but feel sad about it.

 

Please reply to me whenever you feel like it, Pansy.

 

*   *   *

 

“So I made him some BLT sandwiches and he ate it happily!”

“I see.”

“But, I’m still concerned that he doesn’t have any particular likes or dislikes. Does he really don’t have any, or is it just him not telling me out of concern for me?”

 

I’ve never heard Sun-chan had any food that he particularly disliked.

 

“So, um… Do you know something about it? Is there any food he doesn’t like?”

“As far as I know, no. He could eat anything.”

“If that’s really the case, it’s great! Our relationship has been going well lately, I think I can handle going home together with him… So, can you arrange it for me, please?”

 

We were in the student council room. Cosmos was sitting next to me, frolicking like a little girl. Sadly for her, I was in no mood to indulge her.

 

…Ah, f**k! I’ve really done it! I made Pansy mad!

Seriously, making her angry was a huge mistake!

 

It would be better if I just made either Cosmos or Himawari angry at me instead!

This was my fault, but I didn’t know what I should do as an apology.

 

Ah, of course I wouldn’t kiss her or anything.

 

Sorry, this whole thing might be my fault, but my feelings for her remained unchanged.

 

I doubt that it would change anytime soon too.

 

“Um… Joro-kun? Are you okay? Did something happen to you?”

“Huh?”

“You seem to be staring at a distance a lot. If it’s the usual you, you’d be… Ah, it’s hard to put it into words! Anyway, you don’t seem to be in good spirits.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

 

Cosmos’ gentle and warm smile made me feel even more guilty.

 

After all, I’ve betrayed her cruelly and tried to make Sun-chan go out with another girl.

 

It would be unforgivable for me if I were to take advantage of her kindness like this.

 

That was why I decided not to.

 

“Don’t worry about me. Also, you’re going to meet up with Sun-chan soon.”

“Oops, that’s right! I don’t look weird, do I?”

“No. You look as pretty as always.”

“I see. Thank you!”

“Ah, by the way, Prez.”

“Hm? What is it, Joro-kun?”

“If you two ended up going home together after all, make sure to tell him, ‘I enjoy talking to you,’ that will surely make him happy.”

“Got it! I’ll try my best!”

 

Well, I wasn’t trying to atone for my wrongdoings to her by telling her that. It was just, I wanted to help her out earnestly for today.

 

*   *   *

 

After school. We were done with our task, Sun-chan with his club activities, Cosmos and I with our council duties. We met up at the school gate.

 

“Sorry to keep you waiting!”
“It’s fine, I haven’t been waiting for long.”

“Hehe, really?”

“Yes, really.”

 

There was a gentle smile on Cosmos’ face as she was talking with Sun-chan. Looking at her like this made me realize that she had come a long way to reach up to this point.

 

Just a few days ago, she couldn’t even talk to him without stumbling on every word while looking like a fur seal. But now, she could talk to Sun-chan without being overly conscious of him.

 

“For our lunch tomorrow, is there anything you’d like to eat?”

“Hm… Honestly, I’m good with anything…”

“But, I want to make something that you like! It will be good practice for me too, you know?”

“Uwah, if you put it that way, it feels embarrassing… But, well…”

 

Sun-chan scratched his head while furrowing his brows.

 

Hm. That wasn’t a look of hesitation. He just didn’t know what to decide.

 

If that was the case, I guess I could lend him a hand.

 

“Why don’t you ask her for some kushikatsu? Don’t you love those?” (T/N: Kushikatsu is like deep-fried yakitori.)

 

Heh, my support was as brilliant as always.

 

With this, Cosmos should be able to make a good follow up… Right?

 

“I see! Thank you for the information, Joro-kun! I’ll make some kushikatsu for tomorrow!”

 

Alright. That was a nice one, Cosmos. I could see a bright future up ahead.

 

“Seriously?! Woohoo! Thank you very much, Cosmos-san!”

“Y-You don’t have to thank me… I-It’s a little embarrassing…”

 

She squeezed her hands tightly and placed them right in front of her chest.

 

Whenever Sun-chan was there, there was no hint of her usual maturity.

 

It was replaced by her girlish charm.

 

“It seems like I’ve misunderstood something about you, Cosmos-san.”

“Eh?”

 

Sun-chan said with a big smile. Meanwhile, Cosmos had an anxious look on her face. She didn’t understand what he was talking about.

 

Don’t worry about it, Cosmos.

 

When Sun-chan was wearing that kind of look, he wouldn’t say anything bad to you.

 

“I always thought that you’re a mature and strict person, but after talking with you, I can see that you’re actually a wonderful and cute person.”

 

Choo! The Cosmos train was leaving the station!

I could see smoke coming out of her head.

 

This girl ignored my praises completely, but when Sun-chan did the same to her, she reacted this way.

 

Even if we were under the same circumstances and I said the same thing as Sun-chan did, I doubt that she’d bat an eye at it.

 

I guess this was the difference between a main character and a mob character.

 

Well, it was too late to complain about that kind of thing.

 

Let’s focus on the task I had at hand instead.

 

“T-T-T-Thank you!”

“Hahaha, Cosmos-san, your face is red~”

“N-No it isn’t!”

“Lies~”

“Ah, by the way you two, I want to tell you something.”

“Hm? What is it, Joro?”

“Yes, Joro-kun?”

“I have something coming up this Friday, so can you two go home together without me on that day?”

“Sure, I don’t mind!”

“M-Me too, Joro-kun!”

 

Alright, mission completed. Good luck, Cosmos.

 

After that, I went home and changed out of my uniform. Cosmos messaged me, ‘Thank you, I knew I could always count on you.’

 

Seeing her message after knowing the identity of Sun-chan’s crush made me feel bitter.

 

…Seriously, what should I do?…

 

TL: Iyo

ED: Iyo

 

 

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