I (30), Who Works for a Black Company and Died While Regretting My Gloomy Life, Started Over From High School! - chapter 1
- I (30), Who Works for a Black Company and Died While Regretting My Gloomy Life, Started Over From High School!
- chapter 1 - From the company slave to that time
From the company slave to that time
“My life …… How did it end up like this…..”
In the middle of the night, alone in the office, I, Nihama Shinichiro muttered to myself.
In front of me was a pile of work, so big that it would overflow my desk.
Obviously, It’s more than the amount that can be done by one person.
This was originally my boss’s job, but he forced me to “do it by tomorrow” just before the end of the day.
“Haha …… it’s been like this since I joined this company…..”
This company, which I entered immediately after graduating from high school, is a completely black company and I’ve been forced to work overtime without overtime pay, work 30 consecutive days, deal with crazy complaints, and work with unreasonable deadlines, etc.
“I’m already 30 years old, completely believing the company’s stupid word that if you work hard, you’ll be rewarded someday …”
Thanks to that, I have been experiencing dizziness and body tremors for the past few years.
My hair is becoming more gray and I often have nightmares.
I continued to work for such a company simply because I didn’t have the courage to quit.
“I’m dark, I’m timid, and I hate to work hard….. Really, I’m still the same gloomy guy I’ve been since high school. On top of that, I’m a virgin…… ha, ha, ha …..”
Suddenly, I felt tears welling up in my eyes.
It’s been 12 years since I came out to society … i can’t tell how many times i’ve been overwhelmed by this pitch black despair.
Why? How did this happen?
I know that I’ve made the wrong choice.
And I didn’t even have the strength to admit my mistakes.
But how could I be strong enough to keep looking for the …… right path?
“I wonder if high school was my last chance …”
I operate my smartphone to zoom in an old group photo.
In the picture, there was a beautiful girl with long black hair.
Shijoin Haruka. She is a beautiful woman, a young lady, but also very kind – she was my classmate in high school and also the one that I longed for…
Shijoin, who was also a member of the library committee, talked to me kindly…The little time I spent with her together is the most beautiful memory of my life.
“I really liked Shijoin-san …… but I wasn’t confident and didn’t have the courage. I knew that I should have confessed no matter what the outcome. …… but in the end i kept running away.”
This regret became even more intense after hearing from my only high school friend a few years ago that Shijoin-san had gone through “that kind of thing.”
“In the end, nothing has changed since I was a high school student , 12 years have passed, I’m still like this. I’m dark, I can’t say what I want to say, I’ve always been …… a gloomy guy…….!”
What was waiting for me was, of course, a catastrophic future.
“I’m only thirty years old, but my internal organs are all tattered from overwork! My mother raised me only by herself, but she was so worried about me being worn out by the black company and died early!”
I can’t think of anything that i have gained at all.
The last 12 years of my life have been nothing but loss.
“My sister hates me because of it and I was isolated…I have no money, no one will grieve for me when I die”
And that will probably won’t change after this.
I’ve been running away from changing myself and fighting, and as I get older, I’m becoming even more subservient.
“I want to go back to ……………..! I want to go back to that time ……!”
I was crying like a child and screaming alone in the office.
“Now…… I know it now!I know now how precious that time was to me! ..I finally understand ……if you want something, you have to fight for it!,. I finally realized at this age!”
I want to start over from that time.
My life was nothing but a failure.
If I have any deep regrets, this time in my life, it would be–
Suddenly, my chest becomes tight and painful, and I can’t breathe well.
（What the hell… is this ……!）
I’ve experienced heart failure from overwork many times, but I’ve never known anything like this ……!
“H….ah, ah…. guh….”
I could feel the heat drain from my body and I was rapidly becoming cold.
I couldn’t breathe and my whole body was screaming for oxygen.
（Oh, yeah. …… I’m going to die. ……）
I know because I’ve experienced anemia and arrhythmia many times.
This is not a normal seizure.
As my consciousness gradually fades, I realize that, at the end, my body has been overworked.
As my consciousness melts into darkness, the phone on my desk finally comes into view.
And that dazzling smile on Shijoin-san’s face on the screen–
（Ha, ha, I’m glad you’re the one to see it in the end–）
At the end of that thought–
My consciousness was swallowed up in the deep darkness and disappeared.
“………… Hmm …… Uh…………?”
The sunlight shining through the window awakens my consciousness..
The sound of chirping sparrows heralded the morning, and I got up from the futon.
“Aa … re …? I’m pretty sure, I …”
I searched my memory with a vague mind
My name is Shinichiro Nihama, a 30 year old company slave who works for a black company
Yesterday I was working overtime with a lot of work until midnight–
“That’s right! I’m sure it was a pretty strong heart failure!”
Remembering that pain and the feeling of lifelessness, I wake up completely.
I was completely convinced that I was going to die, but …… it seems that I’m still alive as long as I’m doing this. If so, is this a hospital?
“………… eh …… is this ……?”
Looking around, it was clear that this room was not a hospital room.
And it’s not my apartment room.
“My parents’ house …… my room ……”
A lot of video games, posters of anime characters, a study desk that has become a storage room, and a bookshelf full of manga and novels. …… This is definitely my room from my school days.
“That’s stupid …… Am I dreaming or something ……?”
My parents’ house was dismantled after my mother’s death and no longer exist in this world.
“What the hell is going on …!?”
When I turned my confused gaze at the window of the room, my mind went blank.
Because the figure reflected there is not the tired 30 year old me–
“…… young…… me as a teenager ……?!”