Ore wo Suki nano wa Omae dake ka yo - Chapter 3 Part 1

Chapter 3 – I’m Really Just a Mob That You Can Find Anywhere

 

 

My name is Kisaragi Amatsuyu, a.k.a Joro.

 

Take the ‘tsuki’ out of my name and it became ‘Joro,’ hence why they called me Joro. It was pretty simple.

 

My appearance was… A little above average. My grades were… A little better than average… My athletic capability was… A little better than average.

 

I was just a slightly attractive boy in his second year of high school.

 

Back in middle school, I was able to get along with everyone regardless of gender. No, I wasn’t trying to brag. Definitely not.

 

I didn’t join any clubs, but I have been the secretary of the student council since October last year.

 

Originally, I didn’t try to run for the office, but the student council president was a beauty and I knew the vice president personally, so I begged him for his recommendation.

 

I told him, ‘There’s no one better to deal with miscellaneous work than me in this school!’ To get him to recommend me.

 

There was nothing impossible in this world, it seemed.

 

What? My introduction sounded different from the last time?

 

Well, that was because my first introduction was a lie. There were some important details that I changed from back then.

 

Look, if I didn’t do that first introduction, people would come to hate me. Especially you readers.

 

If that were to happen, it would be scary, wouldn’t it?

 

In any case, from now on, I’ll be showing my true nature in my monologue, but I had no intention to show it in my actions.

 

I still wanted people to think that I was a kind, dense and pure-hearted boy.

 

If I were to reveal my true nature to them, everything would fall apart.

 

That was why I decided to continue playing this kind of character for the rest of my school life.

 

“Good morning, Joro!”
“Good morning, Himawari.”

 

Ouch it hurts! Stop slapping my back!

 

If you hit me that hard, you’ll leave a red mark on my back!

 

Think about me for a second. If I were to change to my P.E. uniform with that red mark, everyone would call me ‘Siegfried.’ (T/N: I assume this is a reference to the Germanic hero, Siegfried, the protagonist of Nibelungenlied. He died by a stab in his back, so this could be a reference to that.)

 

“Thanks for yesterday!”
“Ah, yeah.”

I still felt angry because of what happened yesterday, but I wouldn’t lash out at her in the open like this.

 

There was still a chance. I couldn’t lose her favor to carry out Operation Remora successfully. (T/N: If you don’t know, remoras are a species of fish that lives by eating parasitic crustaceans from the body of various large sea creatures like sharks or rays.)

 

“U-Um… Y-You know, about yesterday…”

 

From the way she acted, she seemed to be wanting to tell me something.

 

Well, it couldn’t be helped. Let me farm a few affection points from her by giving her a lifeline.

 

“I’ll help you out, Himawari. Don’t worry!”

“Really?! Thank you! I really don’t know what to do…”

 

Sure sure, I’ll be happy to help you.

 

Well, there were some benefits for me to help her out.

 

If things didn’t go well for her and she ended up getting dumped… Hehehe…

But, before I cooperate with her, I should prioritize my safety first.

 

“Ah, but…”

“Hm?”

“Actually, Prez asked me the same thing the other day. I figured I need to tell you about it…”

“Eh?! What?!”

 

That should be my line.

 

I deserved to say that line more than you.

 

Anyway, I was actually torn between whether I should tell her about Prez or not. In the end, I decided to tell her.

 

I would also tell Prez the same thing later.

 

It would be a disaster if they were to find out that I was helping both of them at the same time after all.

 

I judged that it would be better for me to come clean.

 

Prevention was better than cure. It would be better for me to disclose everything first.

 

“The reason why she invited me to go out on Saturday was because she wanted to consult me about the same thing as you.”

“Uu… I knew it! She is my rival in love!”

 

Not bad, you noticed that, huh?

 

Man, and I wished that it was me who Prez came to love.

 

In the end it was just wishful thinking of mine.

 

“I mean, it’s obvious! The other day, that woman went out of her way to visit the tennis club first, even though it’s clearly more efficient to visit the baseball club first! That woman has been eyeing Sun-chan for a while too!”

“I-I see…”

 

So that was why you hit me with the ball instead of her? I was just a punching bag to you, wasn’t I?

 

If she was the target of your hatred, then hit her instead, not me!

 

By the way, she had been speaking in a scary tone. From now on, I’ll refer to her in this state as Black Himawari.

 

Also, she referred to Prez as ‘that woman’ so naturally. I was genuinely shocked to hear that.

 

“Anyway, I’ll be doing my best to help you both.”

“Eh?! You aren’t on my side, Joro?!”

“I am on your side, but at the same time, I’m on Prez’ side too. We might be childhood friends, but Prez was the one who asked for my help first, so I can’t just ignore her.  Hence why I’ll be helping you both. Whoever ended up with Sun-chan, don’t hold a grudge, okay? If you can’t abide by these conditions, I won’t help you.”

“Uu…”

“Also, I’ll be talking with Prez about this later, so it won’t be unfair to her.”

“Nooo!”

“You said nothing about keeping my cooperation a secret from anyone. It’s unfair of you to complain now.”

“Hmph!”

 

Himawari puffed her cheeks, appealed while sulking, “Objection!” But, sadly, that move wouldn’t work on me anymore. I would never be deceived by her cuteness anymore.

 

Besides, asking me for help was unfair enough.

 

At this rate, if you went to an unexplored region, you’d probably get along with the indigenous people there. (T/N: A pun. 卑怯/Hikyo/Unfair and 秘境/Hikyo/Unexplored region has the same sound.)

 

“Alright, moving forward, this is our strategy.”

“Huh?! You’ve thought of a strategy?!”

 

If she had a tail, it would probably be wagging up and down right now.

 

So cute. (Blegh)

 

Anyway, I planned my move thoroughly so I could live as a mob properly, that was why I went out of my way to do this.

 

“Of course.”

“Woah! Thank you, Joro!”

 

She was so happy after hearing my words that she immediately hugged me.

 

The faint scent of soap reached my nostrils and made my heart flutter… Of course not! 

 

This b*tch! I will never be deceived by your actions ever again!

 

Fool me twice, shame on me!

That was why you should keep hugging me like that! Yes!

 

Tighter! Tighter!

“Oops… So, what do I need to do?”

 

As I thought of that, she immediately separated from me! Well, I guess this was the limit of what a mob could receive.

 

“Firstly, let’s start with your ‘impression,’ Himawari.”

“Impression?”

“Yes. Normally, in cases like this, the first thing you should do is to let the other people get to know you, but you don’t need to go through this phase. You and Sun-chan have known each other since middle school, after all. But, this will lead to a disadvantage. To Sun-chan, you might no longer be a ‘girl,’ but rather a ‘good friend’ of him. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?”

“Yes… Sun-chan hangs out with me often, but he always treats me like the way he treats you, Joro…”

“Exactly! That’s why we need to change that first. We’ll make him see you as a ‘girl,’ that’s the first step we’ll be taking.”

“Joro, you’re amazing!”
“So, to do that, you need to stop going to school with me!”

“What? Why?”

“What do you mean why? You realized that he kept teasing us about how we should go out or whatnot, right?”

“…Yeah.”

 

My words stunned her. She seemed disheartened, but I didn’t really care.

 

Well I understood her feelings though. Imagine that the person you liked thought that you liked someone else.

 

“One of the reasons why he thinks that way is because we kept entering the classroom together. That’s why we need to stop doing it. Well, we can still walk to school together as long as we keep that in mind. For the time being, that’ll be our plan going forward.”

“I see! As expected of Joro!”

“Sun-chan may misunderstand us at first. He’ll probably think that we got into a fight or something, but that isn’t a problem. We can just act like usual so that he won’t misunderstand us like that. But we still need to keep a certain distance and you need to not get too chubby with me! In other words, aside from not entering the classroom together, you also need to watch how you act around me. Got that?”

“Yes!”

 

Glad that she was able to understand that.

 

Then, why did she fail to understand my feelings?

 

Because she didn’t care about me? Woah, that actually pi*sed me off. I almost self-destructed out of rage.

 

“Alright, we’ll start the plan today.”

“Okay! Then, until we arrive at school, let’s dash!”

 

After hearing what I said, she seemed to be strangely excited. She then took my hand and started running furiously.

 

Girl, I’ve told you the plan, why were you still doing this?

 

Well, with her dragging me along like this, at least I wouldn’t be late, I guess…

 

*   *   *

 

…So tired. I parted ways with Himawari just before we reached the school gate, but I still felt as tired as usual.

 

Why did I have to go along and run with her?

 

Whatever, let’s just go to the classroom quickly.

 

Huh, Himawari was talking with Sun-chan.

 

Well, I’ll leave them to themselves. Part of my job desc as a mob was to read the air properly.

 

So, I quietly took my seat, ignoring both of them.

 

For now, let’s make a plan for the day.

 

“Oi~ Joro!”

 

But, before I could think of anything, Sun-chan approached me.

 

“What’s up, Sun-chan?”

“Uh, what happened to you and Himawari? Why did you two come separately today?”

“Nothing happened.”

 

Of course I wouldn’t tell him anything.

 

Rather, I have to make sure that he was in the dark.

 

Still, it would be annoying if he were to keep asking me about it.

 

I sent a gaze toward Himawari, telling her to deal with him.

 

She saw it and nodded at me.

 

…Huh? She came over with both hands spread. Was she about to hug him from behind?

 

I see. That was a nice strategy for a natural b*tch like her.

 

Do it. Show him the destructive power of your B-cup.

 

“Joro! Sun-chan! That’s unfair! You two are having such a nice conversation together!”

 

Why did you stop?! You were literally one step away from doing it!

 

Also, your pose! What were you trying to do with your outstretched arms now that you gave up on hugging him?! 

 

“Oh, you want to join us, Himawari?”
“Yes! Let’s talk! Talk!”

 

Why were you jumping happily like that?! Reflect on your own mistakes first!

 

You lost your chance to talk with him alone!

 

…Whatever, I’ll let her practice hugging with me so that she won’t fail next time.

 

I’d hate to do this, but I had no choice. Seriously, I really hated it, but this was an emergency, so I had no choice but to do it. I’ll let her use my back for practicing.

 

Once again, I only did it because I had no choice!

 

“Right, Sun-chan, I went to watch a movie yesterday!”

“Huh, really?”

 

Oho. That was a nice topic to start, I gotta say.

 

With this, you could casually ask him out to go see a movie together later in the conversation.

 

“Mhm! Yesterday, Jo–”

 

You fooool! (T/N: This is a Jojo reference. Stroheim’s line.)

 

What the hell were you doing?! We agreed to not tell anyone about our outing yesterday! Especially not him!

If you actually drop my name here, then all our efforts so far would be for naught!

I glared at her, preventing her from dropping that bombshell. But she was already halfway through it. What can we do to fix this?

 

Sun-chan furrowed his eyebrows because Himawari suddenly stopped talking.

 

“Jo? What are you trying to say, Himawari?”

 

I have nothing to do with her.

 

“J-Jo…Jojoen Skywalker’s was so good!”

 

Who?! That wasn’t an actor’s name! You just combined a yakiniku restaurant and the force! (T/N: Jojoen is the most popular yakiniku restaurant in Japan. Skywalker is a Star Wars reference.)

 

After saying ‘Jo’, you could continue with ‘—rge Clooney’, ‘—hnny Depp’ or hell, just say ‘—hnny Ridden’ for the hell out of it. But, you went out of your way to create an original name instead! (T/N: George Clooney and Johnny Depp, both are actors. Johnny Ridden is another gundam reference.)

“I see. Jojoen Skywalker, huh? I’ve never heard of him.”

 

Of course! He didn’t exist! He was made in Himawari! (T/N: As in made in China, but Himawari.)

 

…Huh? Himawari was looking at me with teary eyes. We made eye contact.

 

‘Uh… What is it?’

‘Do something!’

 

What do you mean, do something?! Give me a precise instruction!

 

I couldn’t just come up with something that could top Jojoen Skywalker!

 

Still, I had to cooperate with her. If her affection meter with me dropped at this point, I wouldn’t be able to snatch her when she got rejected.

 

Alright, I’ll show her the power of a mob character!

 

“Did you go by yourself, Himawari?”

“Y-Yes! I-I went there alone!”

 

Let me explain! There were two goals that I wanted to achieve by saying those words!

 

One, to hammer in the point; ‘Himawari went to see the movie by herself.’

 

Two, to give out the impression that I didn’t know about this information prior to this conversation.

 

With the first point, Sun-chan would come to the conclusion that Himawari didn’t have a special relationship with anyone, she didn’t have a boyfriend. With the second point, he would think that I was in the same boat as him as I also didn’t know that Himawari went to see a movie yesterday.

 

A perfect follow-up if I may say so. Except that Himawari’s gaze wandered around. She was clearly confused by this development. Seeing her made me feel uneasy.

 

“I see… Anyway, Sun-chan, have you been seeing any movies lately?”

“No. I’ve been busy with my club, I didn’t have the time.”

“Really? What about going with Himawari next time? This girl went to see one by herself yesterday, but the thing is, she loves to go with someone else because she could share her impression of the movie with that person afterwards.”

“Is that so? Sure! …Wait, why won’t you go with her instead?”

“I don’t like the movies that she likes.You two get along well, so who knows, you might have the same taste as her.”

 

See? Wasn’t I amazing? I managed to brush the sh*t about Jojoen Skywalker aside and gave Himawari the perfect opening to exploit! Now, Himawari, take it away from here!

“I-I wan tu go wit San-chan two!”

 

She couldn’t make a proper follow-up, nice!

 

What kind of accent was she even using?

 

“I-Is that so? Hehe… That makes me happy…”

 

Oi, seriously? A miracle happened! Sun-chan somehow blushed after hearing that!

 

That meant Himawari had a chance!

“Hearing yu happi made me happi too, San-chan…”

 

The Himawari Accent aside, that one was a good follow-up from her.

 

She could use her innocence to seduce him. This was going well.

 

If she could snatch him right there and then, that meant I could snatch Cosmos.

 

…Well, of course that didn’t happen. Things didn’t develop further than that and we ended up spending the rest of the morning talking like usual.

 

Whatever. Sun-chan saw me and Himawari talking normally, so he wouldn’t think that we were fighting or anything like that.

 

Our original goal for the day was fulfilled.

 

Also, we managed to confirm something about him. He blushed from Himawari’s words.

 

That meant he saw her as a girl.

 

TL: Iyo

ED: Iyo

 

 

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